There are a few things in this life we get true joy from. One of these things for me is when annoying people say annoying things and I get to tell them how annoying they're being. An instant of which springs to mind:
This is a void in space, its name is Barnard 68. It is a billion light years across of apparent nothingness. There is no registered matter or energy emitting from this cold black spot in the cold black world of space. Someone posted this up on facebook and one weird person said 'Ooo maybe it's the entrance to Heaven.' If I could put my fist through my laptop and make it scorch out the otherside I would've have done it then to that person. Instead all I could muster was the words 'Or the entrance to Hell.' Which logically, if anything is what this thing would be if it was attributed to some God-like structure.
In some cases I do not get this satisfaction. None more so when I happen upon a discussion with a mother involved. The reason is because of the easy get-out-of-jail-free-clause mothers use when they are about to lose. There a moments when two people are locked in a rally of superb back of forth intellectual tennis. Arguments are countered superbly only to be rallied again by another outstanding remark that continues to pit both sides in an equal battle. Mum's however can simply ruin this great exercise of mental boxing with the classic line 'Well being a mother' or 'Well you won't understand until you have kids.'
The worst thing about this is mothers use this defense in cases when it is totally irrelevant.I was discussing philosophy with a friend of mine, about the thought 'Am I the only
real person and everyone else is fake.' I would've won, when all of a sudden she came out with 'Well since you haven't had children you don't know what real is.' Before getting really angry I calmed down and let it slide. The police have dropped me as a suspect over her murder.
But more importantly I do understand because of this wonderful invention called empathy. The line is such a bullshit thing to say and very offensive, especially to moi, a successful and intelligent writer. For example when JK Rowling wrote Harry Potter did real wizards call her up and say 'Excuse me JK, but that bit when Harry lost his wand was just awful, that's not how a wizard would react.' or an even more simple and less comical example when a male writer writes from a female perspective and it reads as women wrote it. Thus proving that I can understand even though I don't have kids.
And it's not just because I write and have to 'get inside' the character, average, normal and unintelligent people can do it, just like you. When you hear about an accident of an apartment building catching fire and peoples possessions are destroyed, you empathize and somehow manage the appreciate the level of loss that those involved feel.
Sadly we are all too polite to mention this to those blasted matriarchal witches.
