My Top 5 Cereals

As all of you know by now, I love cereal. It is my favourite food group on the planet because studies show, if you have cereal 18 times a day your life will increase by 3000 years. It's good for you and it tastes fit, how can you argue with that. So as I was having my number 1 cereal this morning it got me thinking 'I need to inform you all on whats the best diet when it comes to cereal.'

To break down the numbers easier, number 1 cereal means you have to eat this the most, number 5 the least but still try and get as much of that as possible. Ok let's begin:

Number 5 is

A standard classic for any cereal lover. One of the plus sides to Corn Flakes, is the 2nd bowl is actually as good as the 1st, which is the only cereal that can boast this.

Number 4 is as follows

 The American import has had recent success in this country and is coming to the forefront in terms of sales. But most importantly it taste better then loads of other things. Sweet, crunchy with milk inbetween the best sandwich one could ask for.



and Number 3

 Crunchy and tough, a cereal not for the faint hearted. Only to be devoured by the true connoisseurs of cereal. Chocolate is always going to have a clear advantage over others but Nesquik is in a league of its own.


A close 1st but not quite, 2nd is here

Throw a couple spoon fulls of sugar on top of these bad boys and you are sorted for the day. Not only a treat for your taste but for your ears as well. A great little treat is after you've finished the left over milk has those little clusters of sugar which is just boss.


and Number 1

Of those 3000 years I mentioned before 2312 years are actually attributed to Coco Pops. A Scientific Journal released last century stated that chocolate can cure all disease and contains all the vitamins in the world. One bowl of Coco Pops is equivalent to 2.6 billions tangerines. The biggest upside to all this, is of course it tastes like a cake made by the Gods on a special episode Master Chef.

How to make a good song bad

Aspiring musicians take a lesson from Kanye West. This is how you make a good song bad:

I listened to the song when I was doing a review on the album and I liked it. Thought it was a bit weird and a bit cool, not conventional hip hop but still had that similar vibe. However I cannot listen to this song ever again without seeing this video, this cheesy, pointless, nauseating video has tainted this song forever.

Now I'm not saying this is the best song ever and some of you wouldn't have liked this song to begin with but you wouldn't have disliked it as much as you did if you never saw the video. If that made sense to you, well done you read like a champ.

It's also a lesson to play to your strengths. Kanye West, you sir, are not sexy.

Billboards Covered in Tits

I'll let Hollie McNish say everything in the video below -

Fire Alarm Brainwashing

Remember in school when the fire alarm would go off for ten seconds and just g off. The teachers told us that they were just testing the system and that we should continue with our work. Fast forward until present day and remember your last reaction to a fire alarm. Or any warning sign for that matter.

 To be fair this would

be ignored as well

Today in my flat, the fire alarm went off and like any normal person I ignored for a long time. It was only for the fact that I was worried about my girlfriend that I decided to check the building. I couldn't smell any smoke when I poked my head out the window so I went down a floor to see if the ringing was there. I took the staircase, no smell of smoke and the ringing was constant. Even so I went upstairs and just to be safe said let's get out of the building.



There were about five people outside three of whom were in the lift with us before more people starting coming out. Now in all this time the ringing had been going on for at least fifteen real minutes. A worst case scenario fire will consume a living room in about ten seconds.

Arrrr sheet

As I've said I work in a restaurant and we've been shown our fire evacuation procedures and we've groaned and moaned when we've done them. There has been a handful of times the fire alarm has went off and all people do is look at each other basing their decision on whether to leave on everyone else.



I'm not saying we should all jump up, panic and run and I'm not even saying that we should all leave every time there is an alarm, since every single one I've been involved in has been a false alarm, or close to minimal. But I blame our inability to consider these fires as a possibility because of these stupid fire alarm tests in school. It has subconsciously drilled into us that fire alarms are things to be ignored because there is a good chance it is just a little accident, when in fact it is the total opposite of the whole point of them.



Just another reason to hate school I guess.

Filthy hands

So I was minding my own business, doing my shift in my restaurant and I noticed no less then five tables, during my six hours using their own sanitiser. I'm just concerned about what on Earth do these people do with their hands when they are not eating food. Are there jobs out there that people just have to have their hands in homeless people's a-holes all day? Or instead of driving cars do people have bikes made of pig poo and they have to pump the tires with aids? Not only this, but these people have knives and forks. The most virus preventing utensils the world has ever seen.

I would be interested in finding out the cases of food poisoning from let's say the 70's and now and then correlate the data with the amount of bottles of sanitiser sold to middle class families and see if there is an improvement.



You see our white blood cells are actually tough bastards but they let us have a few days off work, then go in and headbutt the foreign bodies out of our system. Now because of all this sanitiser killing all the germs we're not letting them have any warm up fights. This means when some crazy viruses come along it's like an year eleven school bully (virus) beating up a year seven on his first day (white blood cells). Instead of a fifty year old gypsy bareknuckle pub hard-case (white blood cells) vs a kitten (virus).
 

This has nothing to do with the blog

but it whatever

I actually fear for future generations of the human race because even if the sanitiser thing works, it's not like millions of people were dying. So as evolution stumbles its way to answer trillions of humans will die because our immune system will deplete because of our incessant need to have clean hands when we eat. You see you bastards by cleaning your hands before you eat you are committing genocide.



Related reading:
http://thinkingmomsrevolution.com/in-the-name-of-protection/#sthash.p1WWDTcD.dpbs

For anyone who loves Resident Evil 1...

This is possibly one of the most funniest video series you'll ever watch if you are a resident evil fan. There are parts and I was honestly in tears with the jokes this youtubers was coming out with.

The video is a 12 part Let's Play of Resident Evil 1 using Chris with the knife. The only downside is that the series doesn't finish. This shouldn't stop you from watching because I can confidently say that if you are a fan of the RE series you will love these videos so much it will stay with you for the rest of your lives. I know this because I watched it 3 years ago and I still watch it as if it is a real comedy show.

So sit back and enjoy Rantastic Productions walkthrough of RE1!

Ageing gamer

Yesterday I sat in cafe with a solemn constitution as the rain fell against the windows bitterly. My copy of the uncompleted GTA5 sat in my bag. My dark expression was directly relevant to my decision to return the least played GTA5 in my collection for in-store cash. This decision has never been weighed up in my head, in my whole 23 years of life.

I sat there and wondered why this was, GTA5 is possibly the best GTA in the history of rockstar. On paper the superiority of this game is ridiculously evident. Better graphics, gameplay, driving, action, car selection, custimisation etc. the list is rather endless. Even the characters are hilarious and deep and crazy. This is a build on my main problem with GTA4 and Red Dead is that the characters were regretful and remorseful for their actions. It didn't make sense that these characters would commit genocide on a load of civilians when the next minute they saying 'Cousin, you are getting me into trouble.'

Taking this into consideration I still enjoyed Red Dead and GTA4, even though the replay factor wasn't there I still completed them. GTA5 there is no drive there. I feel like I dove into a relationship, proposed to a girl after 1 week and then after a couple more days I realise I was just really horny.

It has literally got to the point in which I prefer GTA4 and Red Dead over this new game. That's when I came to the conclusion, after a conversation with a close friend of mine, that I am getting older. I still love games however. It took me two days to complete Bioshock:Infinite and another 2 weeks to get over the ending, it emotionally scarred me that bad. I've recently starting playing Skyrim again for another bout of dragon slaying (if this was a spoiler, commit suicide.) So that thirst to play games and invest my time into games is alive and well. Then came the second epiphany I am not getting older (mentally) I am getting older gamelly (its a word.) I am ageing, maturing in my gaming tastes.

Albeit there isn't exactly a lot to expand in terms of tastes with games. I think it started when I stopped playing football games because they are just the same every release. Except for new graphics and maybe every 5 titles there is change that, 'Totally revolutionizes the way you play' and all it is probably they change the shoot button for the pass button.  Then the Call of Duty copies started to become more evident, so many shoot 'em ups don't really expand the realms of how you play shoot 'em ups. They stick to the Call of Duty canon way of gaming, which isn't a bad thing but when the only really competition is Battlefield it makes you question the level of 'next-gen' we are at.

With the GTA5 I think its how when you walk into a gaming shop you trip over about 5 times on sandbox games. We are so used to sandbox games now that GTA doesn't really present anything new. With games like Dead Rising and Farcry they have several elements in the game, not to mention Just Cause, that sandbox becomes kind've secondary. What is GTA5 presenting that's new in terms of the whole sandbox genre?

For me GTA5 is not giving me anything that's revolutionary. Nothing that makes me excited about playing it or the future of games. I remember playing San Andreas and thinking 'Wow what will the next gen consoles do with the Grand Theft Auto series?' After GTA5 I am thinking I don't really care about what happens to the Grand Theft Auto series or even want to play another Grand Theft Auto for the next consoles.

This could be the case or I'm just becoming a cynical little bitch.

By the way I didn't trade in GTA5...yet.