Don't get me wrong I love football more specifically I love Liverpool (even though the club itself is evil and corrupt.) I can watch any game and feel all the adrenaline and passion as much as anyone. Feel the depression and sadness when Liverpool gets beat but nothing depresses me more then having a discussion with some braindead football fan.
I'll say 'Oh yeah but x player is good.' which is followed by 'Are you messing? He's only scored 7 goals in his last 23 appearances and even then he has only had a 20 minute game average and even then the matches he scored in his team lost and his passing average is minus the ratio of attendance of FC Porto Vista divided by the amount of leagues in Bolivian FA.' There's loving something then there is being obsessed with something. Knowing Millwall's record signing is not a good thing and if you know it as you read this, you stink of poo.
Also I can watch a game and I'll know if a player is good. I'll forget his name or possibly why I think he is good when it comes up in an argument but I'll know that he's good. I'll say 'oh yeah I though that left back was superb' 'Which one?' 'Duno but he ripped through Liverpool, kept that side solid and followed up the winger when he needed support.' and then they'll repeat exactly what the commentator said 'No Liverpool defended well and attacked the right way and they crumbled, I have no recollection of this player.' They have no recollection because the commentator never mentioned they're name.
Don't get me started on the transfer window. 'Ah my dad's mate in work knows someone in the pub who works at the ground and they saw Phil Santiagonaldo getting his car washed by Everton's ground.' Oh yeah well were all those amateur scouts and modern day football East German spies when Fowler resigned for Liverpool. Not one person saw that coming, although I bet you all, when your friend says 'We're buying Damien Ibraniestoure.' and you say 'Bullshit' they'll retort 'Nah because the lad who told me also said we were buying Fowler again.'
And you know what pisses me off more then anything, that makes my teeth grind like a train slamming on the breaks. 21st century Liverpool fans. Oh my fucking god they are such big hypocrites. They'll turn around in an argument with a blue nose and be all 'You bitter bastard' then fucking cheer when Man U get beat again. I'm quiet happy that Man U aren't winning but only because I don't want them getting more trophies then Liverpool. Do I care if they get relegated? No. Do I care were they finish? No. All I care is if Liverpool beat them and eventually win the league. They are Liverpool fans who genuinely hope that Man U get relegated. It makes me weep. They are also Liverpool fans who hate Mourinho just because he beat Liverpool those times. Instead of not caring, instead of rising above the bates and instead of turning into those dirty blue noses.
I actually wind myself up when I think about these things so I have came up with several things to say to football fans to wind them up as well. I'll share them with you -
1. Well if Bale was so good why doesn't he play for England?
2. Oh yeah well Everton have never been in Europe!
3. Oh yeah well Liverpool have never been in Europe!
4. Football isn't that good, I've always thought Rugby was better.
5. Well if Baines was so good why doesn't he play for England?
6. What has Alex Ferguson ever done for Man United?
No comments:
Post a Comment