Modern Toys

Is it me or are all Toys today shit? No it isn't me and you know how I know? Because I'm a man child so I know. Remember when you were watching the telly and the new action man or RC car advert came on. You immediately got a tiny boner for those scalextric tracks that covered 8 football pitches. And remember how they made those landscapes that would make diecast metal tanks look even more awesome. You knew that you wouldn't be able to have that forest or rocky landscape they used in the advert but that didn't matter because you were so blinded by your desire to get it.

Does an Iphone have abs like these?

What toy advert even come close today? None because all toys today are shit. Recently a fellow man child friend of mine and me went into a toy shop (in be4 paedophile jokes). It was simply laughable the awful quality of toys that soiled the shelves. I couldn't even find any action men, the backbone of any young boys toy collection. Toy guns used to be all I think about, my plastic arsenal was enough to arm a small army and actually make them combat effect. Now the shelves are empty, children's imagination are threatened to be overtaken by all those enemy soldiers that are attempting to invade their living room.

I am not going to accept the argument of 'Kids today just want to play on their xbox.' Not they fucking don't, kids have zero patience and attention span. Also I used to have a playstation, the best console ever (next to the dreamcast) and I still loved to play with my Resident Evil toys rather then the game sometimes. I had Jill and Honk and Leon, couldn't find Claire or Chris. I also got a zombie and a spider and a licker with the none undead with some awesome guns to go with it as well. So my generation of playing games is more or less the same as todays so don't give me that garbarge or an argument (that's french  for rubbish by the way).

 Exactly the one I had. Although

he had a revolver as well.

I put it all to todays quality of toys. Go into a Toys 'R' Us or their so called excuse for one and you'll agree. Nothing beats actual toys not even an Xbox One or PS4 because no game they make will ever beat the imagination of a child's or a heroin addict. 

Where are you now?!