When males are young and naive they dream of a girlfriend who they could one day re-tell their gaming stories with as if it was like spinning romantic yarns of sunny days out to the beach and running through the woods mid-storm. As we get older however we realise that this isn't the case at all, in fact we want our girlfriends to stay as far away from our gaming consoles as humanly possible.
Sure having some fun on Mario Kart and the occasional beat-em up is cool and fun, Battlefield and Left 4 Dead on the other hand should be out of bounds. Remember when you and you're friends were experiencing some rather difficult opponents on a game of Conquest? Do you also remember having to carry one or two of your friends as you struggle to match your opponents skill? And also how you wanted to scream at your friends 'What the fuck are you doing? Are you that shit that you can't defend the C flag for more than 10 seconds so I can at least disrupt their hold on A flag?!' Yes of course you do.
The beautiful things with girlfriends is how you can share your innermost insecurities and thoughts without fear of reprisal. It's a great thing relationships, we as an evolved species have revolutionised how we interact and bond with our mates.
So couple all that bullshit with that fact that you have a female playing with you on Call of Duty S&D and she doesn't know what cover objective A means while you sweep the flanks. Instead she sees someone coming up behind you reloads instead of shooting and you lose the round yet again. What happens? You obviously tell her 'What the fuck are you doing? I said cover me!'
And even if you aren't competitive (which is a category I can put myself in, obviously) males are solitary creatures and as such need a portion of time to themselves to relax their mind. Gaming is one of the escapes we go to, where we can totally shut-off and ignore the man-made illusion of 'reality' kind've like yoga for people with testicles.
It's true my male friends, you mightn't know it but that is the case. Now think of this beautiful and serene place being invaded by an emotional, sometimes illogical and emotion-based decision making monster that is the love of your life. The place you counted as your home from home will now be an extension of the bourgeois-elitist made prison that is 'society.'
So cherish the alone time because as they say absence makes the heart grow founder and a girl always has a minus Kill/Death Ratio.
Disclaimer: All facts are 100% proven by the science of common sense. If you have any problems the views and opinions expressed by the writer are entirely his own:
No comments:
Post a Comment