Pointless Sequels

The dreaded thing all film fans fear more than pterodactyl. A pointless sequel can be as painful as sac kicking and I don't mean the little stupid balls, or do I? History is littered with great films having their reputation smeared by their whore-loving, drug-taking, fight starting younger brother (that's a metaphor by the way). The first one that comes to mind, is of course, do I even have to say it? Yes that's right Grease 2.

What a pile of awfulness. A pure middle finger to the artistic, deep and profound original. But on a serious note Grease for some people is a good film, in fact although not everyone has seen it they have heard of it. Hardly any sane person has heard of Grease 2. It's that bad that none of your older sisters had a copy.

Two films are being released as sequels in the next coming age. One of which doesn't deserve a sequel and the other simply makes you scratch your head as to wonder why. The former is Horrible Bosses 2 and the latter is Zombieland 2.

Horrible Bosses is the film we all forgot and when they announced it I was shocked that it has a number 2 on the end. However I watched the trailer and it actually made me laugh in parts. So maybe it's not all bad. What worries me though is the large amount of 'stars' in it. When I see a film do that I think they are trying to buy me into liking it. Or blind me with all the stardum. For example it has Jonathan Banks, who plays Mike in Breaking Bad and I was like 'Ah shit no way, I'm guna go see...Oh no.' You see it nearly got me!

Zombieland 2 is a confusing one. I liked this film a lot. The cameo by Bill Murray alone made it for me. The sequel is in the very early stages, Sony have only just confirmed the writer click here to find out who. (I have hyperlinks now.) This being said there can't be any speculation because from a professional journalistic point of view I cannot look foolish, but apparently Pamela Anderson is going to star in it with Vinnie Jones as her younger sister. There is no confirmation that any of the original cast will return and I hope to Gilgamesh they don't because the whole thing will have a Walking Dead feel to it. Like previously on Zombieland 'I want a twinkie!' 'I'm scared of ghosts and clowns' 'I'm Emma Stone.' You see it just won't feel nice at all to see them return. A sense of unease and anxiety will fill follow like when you have to stand between two men in a urinal (an urinal or a urinal, I said it to myself and it a urinal sounds much better so fuck you grammar.)

Please let me never see you four

together again, especially

Bill Murray.

 

One thing has annoyed me about that film: If you saw a zombie celebrity would you shoot it? No of course you wouldn't. 

I don't know what my conclusion is so here is a funny gif: